What you don't have to put up with

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Postby Sykes » Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:11 pm

So do I! I also love this video...although its off topic still funny!!

http://www.ifilm.com/video/220487 :twisted: :evil:
Frag the weak, Hurdle the dead!
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Postby Ballarus » Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:47 pm

Seen it before. But, since it looks like I'll be missing my wednesday D&D game tonight, it was good to see again.

There's an alliance quest named for a line in that video: Cast Magic into the Darkness.
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Postby Amant » Mon Apr 16, 2007 10:20 am

Someone post the lyrics to "Sliver" Its been in my head all day long. I cannot access the lyrics and copy/paste while I am on my palm

Grandma take me home
Grandma take me home
Grandma take me home
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Postby Amant » Mon Apr 16, 2007 11:02 am

OK, nevermind about the lyrics I have them.
I must warn you though, trying to figure out Kurt Cobain
can make your brain disfunction similar to in Mission
Impossible III when the device in the ladies head activated.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

Mom and Dad went to a show
They dropped me off at Granpa Joe's
I kicked and screamed, said "Please don't go"

Grandma take me home x8

Had to eat my dinner there
Mashed potatoes and stuff like that
Couldn't chew my meats to good

Grandma take me home x8

Said, "Now don't start your crying"
"Go outside and ride your bike"
That's what i did, i killed my toe

Grandma take me home x8

After dinner i had ice-cream
I fell asleep and watched TV
I woke up in my mother's arms

Grandma take me home x19
I wanna be alone
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Postby Arcazua » Wed Apr 18, 2007 5:15 am

Cute video. Too bad you didn't know the words by heart (or didn't do them from memory at least.)


Way back when I was just a little itty bitty boy,
Living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement half a block down the street from Jerry's paint shop --
You know the place.
Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was JUUUUST PEACHY!

Except of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
My mother would make me up a big bowl od sauerkraut for breakfast.
EAAAAAGGHH!! BIG BOWL OF SAUERKRAUT!! EVERY SINGLE MORNING!!
It was driving me crazy!
So I said to my mom, "Hey mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?"
And my dear sweet mother, she just looked at me like a cow looks at a un oncoming train,
And she leaned right down next to me, and she said,
IIITT'S GOOOD FORR YOU!!
And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth and force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty-six-and-a-half years old.

That's when I swore that some day, some day I would get out of that basement and travel to a magical, far away place
Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer, and the towers are oh so fluffy!
Where the shriners and the lepers will play their ukeleles all day long and anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel.
Wugga wugga doodoo yeah!

Well let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true
Cause the very next day, a long radio station was having a contest to see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt.
I was off by three.
But I still won the grand prize.
That's right, a first class one-way ticket

to Al-al-al-al-buqurque
Al-al-al-al-buquerque


You know, I had never been on a real airplane before and I gotta tell ya, it was really nice
Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor
And the little kid in back of me kept throwing up the whole time
The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
And in the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And oh yeah three of the airplane engines burned out and we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside and everybody died!

Except for me.
You know why?

Cause I had my tray table up, and my seat back in the full upright position.
Had my tray table up, and my seat back in the full upright position.
Had my tray table up, and my seat back in the full upright position.
Had my tray table up, and my seat back in the full upright position.


YAHHH-HA-HA-HA-HA!
HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH!
<sigh>

So I crawled from the twisted burnin wreckage
I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days
Dragging along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag and my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball and my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel.
But finally I arrived at the world-famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn
Where the towers are oh so fluffy!
And you can eat your soup right outta the ashtrays if you wanna -- it's ok, theya clean!

Well I checked into my room and I turned down the AC and I turned on the Spectravision and I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow that I love so very very much, when suddenly, there's a knock at the door.
Well now, who could that be?

I say "Who is it?" No answer.
"Who eeez eet?" There's no answer.
"WHOIZZIT!?!?!?" They're not sayin anything.

So finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected: it's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock of Seagulls haircut and only one nostril.
Oh man, I hate it when I'm right.

So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel and I'm like "Hey man you can't have that! That snorkel's been justlikeasnorkel to me!"
And he's like: Tough
And I'm like: Givit
And he's like: Make me
And I'm like: K

So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my aesophogus and I bit off his ear and he chewed on my eyebrows and I took out his appendix and he gave me a (no idea)
Yes indeed, you better believe it.
And somehow, in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook.
And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice, and you know what it said?
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT IT SAID! It said:

If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again.
If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator.
If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again.
If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator.

In Al-al-al-al-buqurque
Al-al-al-al-buquerque


...and OMG, I'm not even halfway through the song yet. I quit -- I've got better things to do. Here's a cut-and-paste from somewhere else.




Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel
But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest
I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
But first, I decided to buy some donuts

So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"
I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"
I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"
I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
I said "You got any apple fritters?"
He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"
I said "You got any bear claws?"
He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"
"No, we're outta bear claws"
I said "Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?"
He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
I said "OK, I'll take that"

So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over
(rabid gnawing sounds)
Oh man, they were just going nuts
They were tearin' me apart
You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head"
I believe it went a little something like this . . .

Doh
Get 'em off me
Get 'em off me
Oh
No, get 'em off, get 'em off
Oh, oh God, oh God
Oh, get 'em off me
Oh, oh God
Ah, (more screaming)

I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin'
Like a constipated weiner dog
And as luck wouls have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
Her name was Zelda
She was a caligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches
I'll never forget the first thing she said to me.
She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face"

That's when I knew it was true love
We were inseperable after that
Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss
The world was our burrito
So we got married and we bought us a house
And had two beautiful children - Nathaniel and Superfly
Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah

But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me
She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"
I said "Woah, hold on now, baby"
"I'm just not ready for that kinda commitment"
So we broke up and I never saw her again
But that's just the way things go

In Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Anyway, things really started lookin' upi for me
Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream
That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler
I even made employee of the month after I put that grease fire out with my face
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
I was gettin' a lot of attitude

OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot
Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
"No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"

So I did

And then he gets all indignant on me
He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"
Well, that's just great
How was I supposed to know that?
I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud
Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy
So what's he complaining about?

Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the street and says he hasn't had a bite in three days
Well, I knew what he meant
But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over
And I'm like "Hey, come on, don'tcha get it?"
But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming
(screaming sounds)
You know, just completely missing the irony of the whole situation
Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um, um, where was I?
Kinda lost my train of thought

Uh, well, uh, OK
Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it
But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is

I hate sauerkraut

That's all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up
And find yourself in an existential quandry
Full of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that
Somewhere out there in this crazy mixed-up universe of ours
There's still a little place called

Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque

I said "A" (A)
"L" (L)
"B" (B)
"U" (U)
"querque" (querque)

Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque

(belch)
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Postby Amant » Wed Apr 18, 2007 6:37 am

Because I could not find the lyrics from 5.6.7.8's Barracuda and because
I cannot stand to listen to the whole thing I am going to post the next best
song:

NOW SUFFER:

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I think I did it again
I made you believe we're more than just friends
Oh baby
It might seem like a crush
But it doesn't mean that I'm serious
'Cause to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me
Oh baby, baby

Chorus:
Oops!...I did it again
I played with your heart, got lost in the game
Oh baby, baby
Oops!...You think I'm in love
That I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent

You see my problem is this
I'm dreaming away
Wishing that heroes, they truly exist
I cry, watching the days
Can't you see I'm a fool in so many ways
But to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me
Baby, oh

Chorus:
Oops!...I did it again
I played with your heart, got lost in the game
Oh baby, baby
Oops!...You think I'm in love
That I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

"All aboard"
"Britney, before you go, there's something I want you to have"
"Oh, it's beautiful, but wait a minute, isn't this...?"
"Yeah, yes it is"
"But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end"
"Well baby, I went down and got it for you"
"Oh, you shouldn't have"

Oops!...I did it again to your heart
Got lost in this game, oh baby
Oops!...You think that I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent

Chorus:
Oops!...I did it again
I played with your heart, got lost in the game
Oh baby, baby
Oops!...You think I'm in love
That I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent

Chorus:
Oops!...I did it again
I played with your heart, got lost in the game
Oh baby, baby
Oops!...You think I'm in love
That I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent
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Postby LightHawk » Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:03 pm

I think my brain overloaded and blew a couple of fuses.

Now I have that frelling song stuck in my head after reading the first line of the lyrics.

Thank you very much. >_<


And Arc.....Albuquerque doesn't seem all that long when written out. Go go Wierd Al.
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Postby Ballarus » Fri Apr 20, 2007 3:47 pm

Cute video. Too bad you didn't know the words by heart (or didn't do them from memory at least.)


Yes, I copy/pasted Trapped In The Drive-Thru, because I'm, you know... sane.

Still, good show, you crazy bastard.
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Postby Nequisha » Sat Apr 21, 2007 12:43 am

its brilliant!
mhaha

then the dude saying in party .. "just stop"

mhahahahahahh

man.. ur guild is like soo much better than mine XD
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Postby Nequisha » Sat Apr 21, 2007 12:45 am

Amant wrote:Because I could not find the lyrics from 5.6.7.8's Barracuda and because
I cannot stand to listen to the whole thing I am going to post the next best
song:

NOW SUFFER:

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I think I did it again
I made you believe we're more than just friends
Oh baby
It might seem like a crush
But it doesn't mean that I'm serious
'Cause to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me
Oh baby, baby

Chorus:
Oops!...I did it again
I played with your heart, got lost in the game
Oh baby, baby
Oops!...You think I'm in love
That I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent

You see my problem is this
I'm dreaming away
Wishing that heroes, they truly exist
I cry, watching the days
Can't you see I'm a fool in so many ways
But to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me
Baby, oh

Chorus:
Oops!...I did it again
I played with your heart, got lost in the game
Oh baby, baby
Oops!...You think I'm in love
That I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

"All aboard"
"Britney, before you go, there's something I want you to have"
"Oh, it's beautiful, but wait a minute, isn't this...?"
"Yeah, yes it is"
"But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end"
"Well baby, I went down and got it for you"
"Oh, you shouldn't have"

Oops!...I did it again to your heart
Got lost in this game, oh baby
Oops!...You think that I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent

Chorus:
Oops!...I did it again
I played with your heart, got lost in the game
Oh baby, baby
Oops!...You think I'm in love
That I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent

Chorus:
Oops!...I did it again
I played with your heart, got lost in the game
Oh baby, baby
Oops!...You think I'm in love
That I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent


you didnt even write that urselve! :P could at least take the time to delete the "chorus" r sumting:P mhehe
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Postby Amant » Sat Apr 21, 2007 9:31 am

Laziness Overrules
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Postby Bliu » Thu May 03, 2007 8:55 am

due to the language I atempted to make the text the same color as the background, but white will have to do.. it is hard to read. so just highlight to make it easier on the eyes.

"adam sandler, piece of S#!* car."

I chuckle every time I hear this song.

Here we go

Piece of shit car
I got a piece of shit car
That fuckin pile of shit
Never gets me very far

My cars a big piece of shit
cause the shocks are fucking shot
And my seatbelts fucking broken
I got to tie it in a knot
(its a piece of shit)

I cant see through the windshield
cause its got a big fucking crack
And the interior smells real bad
cause my friend puked in the back
(its a piece of shit)

(piece of shit car)
Piece of shit car
(hes got a piece of shit car)
It sucks royal dick
(that fuckin pile of shit)
100% crap
(never gets him very far)
Oh fuck you car

Its got no cd player, it only got the 8-track
Whoever designed my car can lick my sweaty nut sack
(they can bite his ass too)
And I got no fuckin brakes
Im always way out of control
Eleven times a day I hear hey, watch it asshole
(you fuckin piece of shit)

(piece of shit car)
I got piece of shit car
(he got a piece of shit car)
Diesel gas sucks my ass
(that fuckin pile of shit)
That pile of metal shit
(never gets him very far)

Oh what the fuck did I do
What the fuck did I do
What the fuck did I do
To get stuck with you
Youre too wide for drive-thru
And you smell like the shoe
But Im too broke to buy something new
Oh fuck me

Well the engine likes to flood
The car always fuckin stalls
And the seat cushions got a big rip
So a spring always pokes the balls
(ouch, ouch, ouch)
Plus the door locks are busted
I gotta use a fucking coat hanger
(what a pain in his ass)
And if a girlie sees my car
Theres no chance Ill ever bang her
(he never ever gets da pussy)
Hey shut up
(piece of shit car)
You piece of shit car

(you got a piece of shit car)
You piece of shit car
(piece of shit car)
Bald fuckin tires
(you got a piece of shit car)
No rearview fucking mirror
(piece of shit car)
Seven different colors
(you got a piece of shit car)
Fucking rag for a gas cap
(piece of shit car)
Tailpipe makes the sparks fly everywhere
(you got a piece of shit car)
(piece of shit car)
(you got a piece of shit car)
(piece of shit car)
Oh the whole town thinks Im a loser
(you got a piece of shit car)
Cabby give me a push
(piece of shit car...)
Last edited by Bliu on Thu May 03, 2007 9:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Amant » Thu May 03, 2007 9:37 am

That was Adam Sandler that sang that song

I always thought it was Jerry Seinfield (I was young)
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Postby Cass » Thu May 03, 2007 12:22 pm

Holy hell.. Who keeps reviving this thread?? O.o
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Postby Bliu » Thu May 03, 2007 1:25 pm

Cass wrote:Holy hell.. Who keeps reviving this thread?? O.o


/WAVE hi, that was me.
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