WARNING This is another story posted by me, and I always use more words than are absolutely necessary. If you have ADD navigate away from this post NOW!
And now, for a darker, more sinister Donald story. This one takes place during the earlier days of the Burning Crusade. I was leveling a warlock, and having a lot of fun with it. My purpose in life had become to make sure that something within 40 yards of me was constantly fleeing in terror, and slowly dying. I was leveling as affliction, which used to mean having survivability that rivaled paladins. (which I knew well because that was my main.) Back then, fear had a relatively low chance to break on damage, and didn't have a hard cap on the damage that a target could take before the fear would break. I thought of my character as a stick of plutonium with short legs, wandering the landscape of Azeroth, slowly destroying everything that was too close to me.
Anyway, I was in my low 40's, and in Tanaris. Someone just whispered me out of the blue to do ZF, and I jumped at the chance, as instance groups of appropriately leveled people are rare when leveling an alt. There was a warrior, (We'll call him EvilDonald) a good hunter, (Yes, I'm serious) a priest healer, and some other dps. EvilDonald started the run by telling us how great he was, and that we were about to see the greatest tanking of our lives. I ignored him because I expect people to be jerks when they know that they won't face any real consequences for it.
Anyway, I notice he's wearing a 2H sword, and I expect him to switch, but he just charges the first group without warning. I say to myself, "This probably is no big deal. I've healed some tanks in 5 man runs who used a 2 hander and did very well. Maybe he really knows what he's doing." Nope. Not this time. All dps assists the tank, but after one tic of renew on the tank, every monster other than the main target bolts for the healer. I look at the tank, who shows no sign that he is about to do anything. I fear one, and I deathcoil the other. I start DoTing up the one with the real fear on it, and then I see the hunter pet come off the main target and start attacking my deathcoil victim. I hear the whooshing noise of the pet growling, and see the pet take aggro. I remark to myself how on top of things this hunter seems to be as I load up the pet-tanked monster with DoTs, then reapply my fear to the other one, which I then have to reel back in with curse of recklessness. I see the monsters dying with decent, if not overly impressive speed, and I see the hunter pet getting heals. After the first monster dies, all the rest of the dps goes to the one that the pet is tanking. I keep DoTs on it, but am spending most of my time watching the one that I have feared. Since this is the first pull of the instance, there is not a whole lot of room for my target to run around screaming without aggroing other groups. I had to repeatedly switch from curse of agony to curse of recklessness when the monster got too close to another group. Back then, recklessness made a monster immune to fear, including warlock applied fear, so it would run back to me when I hit it with recklessness, then when it got to me I'd apply some different curse so it would be afraid again. Finally, mine was the only one left, and the rest of the party ganged up on it and finished it off.
All of us asked the tank why he didn't do anything to control the monsters that went for the healer. He said that he didn't know what we were talking about, and that the healer didn't even take any damage. I often am fairly eager to bail out of a bad group, but it seemed like everyone but the tank was an above average player, so as everyone else was arguing, I just summoned my voidwalker, figuring it would be needed when we hit groups of more than 3. I was ever so right. Despite our repeated pleas, the tank never made any effort to 'tank' more than one monster. And I don't think he was 'tanking' so much as holding aggro by default because of the fact that those of us who were not morons were too busy trying not to wipe to out-dps him on his target.
Despite the tank being stupid and belligerent, I was having kind of a good time. It was challenging to stay alive, and 4/5 of us were doing a really good job improvising ways to do it. I usually managed to be fear-kiting one monster while having my voidwalker tank another one, and keeping at least a DoT or 2 on everything that wasn't CC'd. (our only CC was ice trap anyway) Since voidwalkers aren't that good of a tank, I used curse of weakness and siphon life only on his target so I wouldn't pull aggro, then would blood funnel it to keep it from dying. So I was juggling my fear yo-yo, keeping my VW alive, and trying to keep DoT's on whatever was up. The hunter was borderline amazing. He seemed to be able to keep one tanked with his pet, while constantly kiting another monster around. And he'd still watch the healer and throw concussive shot and whatever that disorienting attack is that they have when the healer got aggro. That was fun for a while, but once we got to all those casters around the fountain, it got to be nearly overwhelming. The healer got shadowbolted to death after going OOM. He soulstoned up to narrowly save us from a wipe, although we did lose the hunter pet, my VW, and the other dps who I can't remember.
At this point, the 4 non-morons all told EvilDonald that we were not willing to continue if all he could do was attack one monster and call it 'tanking'. He blew up. He told us that he was carrying us 'losers' and that we were so bad that we should be grateful to have him. We argued with him for a little while, but soon decided it wasn't worth it. We were just going to reform and try to get a good tank, and told him he could just go to hell if he didn't like it. He then posted a damage meter, which showed him on top by a small margin. We sat in stunned silence for a few seconds, and someone said, "Wait a minute, are you under the illusion that being #1 dps is some sort of proof that you are a good tank?" He replies something to the effect of, 'duh! Of course!" I told him a few things:
1. Your dps does not indicate that you were doing your job. You said you were the 'tank' which means that your job is to keep all the monsters focused on attacking YOU, and not us. You could do literally zero dps and we'd still be fine if you could do your job.
2. You are level 47, and in the best BoE's available, and you think it's impressive that you narrowly edged out me, a level 42 warlock in greens who has spent a lot of the run healing my pet and playing yo-yo with curse of recklessness.
He then started to spew obscenities, and said things to the effect of "I'm too good for you losers." We disbanded the group. The other good members said they were so mentally exhausted from dealing with EvilDonald and didn't want to start over, even if they could find a good tank. I kind of agreed, and started to run back to Gadget. It was then that EvilDonald started whispering me obscenities, and his assertion that he was 'special forces' or something to that effect, and that he would take me apart if I was here in real life. I calmly replied that it was unlikely that he was telling the truth. I was starting to laugh at this point, because I was pretty sure that I was dealing with an overweight, angsty teenage boy. Myself, and all of the people who I have met who have some bonafide quality that makes us dangerous, like being a martial arts master,former Navy Seal, or able to compete in strongman contests find it repugnant to make threats against other people's physical safety. Being really strong and capable seems to have the opposite effect on people, and make them quiet and try to avoid trouble, because the consequences of doing otherwise are dire. So, I decided to let this guy hang himself. I just repeated my claim that he was probably just a snotty teenager, and that he needed to calm down and learn to deal with people better. At that point, he told me where he lived, and gave me a phone number and email address. He said that if I wanted to come to his city, I should let him know. He said he'd even pay for my plane ticket because he wanted to kill me that bad. That was more or less what I was looking for. Not because I would ever hurt someone who acted belligerent in a video game, but because it was enough to inflict some real, if not overly serious, consequences on him. I then put him on my friends list, and didn't reply to any more of his whispers, though I did not put him on ignore. I opened a GM ticket. I got an unusually fast response, and I told the GM that another player had made credible sounding threats against me. I told the GM when the threats were made so he could check the chat logs. The GM said something like, "We take this sort of thing very seriously. While I can not divulge any specific information about any action taken against another player's account, we will investigate and take all appropriate actions." I bid him a good day. A little while later, I see "EvilDonald has gone offline." And I never saw him log on again. I can't be sure, but I think I 'ganked' his account. I don't usually report people, but that guy was enough of a butthole where I thought he did need to suffer some consequence, if I could manage it.
I don't know if this guy qualifies as a Donald or not. He is certainly a bad enough player, but Donald is kind of loveable, and that guy was just mean. Probably even his own mother didn't love him.