Pretty funny joke.

Discuss anything!

Pretty funny joke.

Postby Galobtar » Tue May 15, 2007 8:51 am

I saw this and got a laugh out of it, thought id share it.

Bubba, an airline mechanic, was bragging to his boss one day. "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name Someone, Anyone and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "Okay, Bubba, how about Tom Cruise"?
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends and I can prove it."
So, Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba ! Great to see You! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.
"President Bush," his Boss quickly retorts.
Yep", Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
So, off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise. I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.
The new Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Bubba. "I've known the Pope a long time."
So, off they fly to Rome.
Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, this will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
He disappears into the crowd headed toward St. Peter's.
Sure enough, half an hour later, Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his Boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened"?
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and The Pope came out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba"?
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Postby Guildelin » Tue May 15, 2007 4:06 pm

That is pretty good
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Postby Amant » Wed May 16, 2007 11:36 am

You made me laugh



Stop that
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Postby Guildelin » Wed May 16, 2007 2:43 pm

An other Joke

There were 3 Older men all playing Golf one afternoon along with them thier long time Caddy. Well the 3 men were all talking about thier sons

First guy says "My son has this great job in the car sales and must being doing awsome. You see just the other day he was able to give away a fully loaded BMW to one of his friends."

Second Guy says " Thats good n all, but my son was able to give away beautiful 3 story house on a 3 acre plot of land to one of his friends"

Third Guy says "Well as you my son is into selling stocks and bonds, Well the other day he gave away a ton of stocks from all the best companies to one of his friends" then he turns to the caddy and asks how his son is doing.

Caddy "Well i dont like what my boy is doing but im proud of him cuz he's my boy. He is a Go-Go dancer in a gay bar. But he must be doing well cuz this last week he received a new fully loaded BMW, a beautiful 3 story house on a 3 acre plot of land, and a ton of stocks from all the best companies from a few of his clients"
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Postby Galobtar » Thu May 17, 2007 6:15 am

haha thats a good one
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Postby Galobtar » Thu May 17, 2007 6:19 am

a few more

Understanding Women

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

Romantic Husband

Husband and wife in bed together.
She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder.
She:"Oh that feels good."
His hand moves to her breast.
She: "Gee, honey that feels wonderful."
His hand moves to her leg.
She: "Oh, honey, don't stop."
But he stops.
She: "Why did you stop?"
He:"I found the remote."

To go along with the previous

Women's Revenge

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
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Postby Amant » Thu May 17, 2007 8:08 am

When people don't do what I want I sneak off with their car keys and keep them till they bow down to me.

It also helps that my friends and I belong to a few car clubs so they take their ownership and possesion of cars very seriously

I can often be seen with about 2-3 car keys in my pocket and I sometimes wear them on my hands like rings and call them Bling.
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Postby Shogunx » Thu May 17, 2007 2:31 pm

The first joke was great =D
but i wud rather watch british stand up comedy a few of my heroes are Bill Bailey Dylan Moran Ross Nobel Mark la Mar and a few others but if u can find any of thier stuff its worth a watch imo
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Postby Galobtar » Fri Jun 08, 2007 10:42 am

another

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry : "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks : "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks : "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks : "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...... "
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Postby Galobtar » Fri Jun 08, 2007 10:43 am

and another

A woman goes to her doctor's office,to discuss a strange development. She has discovered a green spot on the inside of each thigh. They won't wash off, they won't scrape off, and they seem to be getting worse.
The doctor assures her he'll get to the bottom of the problem, and tells her not to worry until he gets the tests back.
A few days later, the woman's phone rings. Much to her relief, it's the doctor.
She immediately begs to know what's causing the spots.
The doctor says, "You're perfectly healthy--there's no problem. But I'm wondering, is your boyfriend a Harley guy?"
The woman stammers, "Why, Yes, but how did you know?"
"Tell him his earrings aren't real gold."
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