The Bad Jokes Thread

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The Bad Jokes Thread

Postby Colon » Fri Oct 17, 2008 5:50 am

Time for some bad jokes. I'll start:

Who just walks and walks and never gets out of the house?

Answer: The chicken. If he even found to the door, he would never have managed to open it.
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Postby Juonryu » Fri Oct 17, 2008 8:19 am

two cows sit on the stairs and knit submarine boats. one of them says: "hey, tomorrow is easter."
the other replies: "i dont care, im not going."

:D

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Postby Thatguy » Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:39 am

Little Susy and Little Timmy were in Religion class together.
Little Susy didn't sllep well the night before and was tired so she fell asleep.
A little while later, the teacher asked: "Little Susy, who died for your sins?"
Little Susy didn't answer, so Little Timmy sharpened his pencil and poked her in the back.
"Jesus Christ!" Little Susy yelled.
"Correct." said the teacher.
And Little Susy fell asleep again.
A little while later, the teacher asked: "Little Susy, who is your Lord and Saviour?
Little Susy didn't answer, so Little Timmy sharpened his pencil and poked her in the back.
"God Almighty!"Little Susy yelled.
"Correct." said the teacher.
And Little Susy fell asleep again.
A little while later, the teacher asked: "Little Susy, what did Eve say to Adam after their 113th child?"
Little Susy didn't answer, so Little Timmy sharpened his pencil and poked her in the back.
"If you stick that in me one more time, I'll snap it in half!!!" Little Susy yelled.
"Correct." said the teacher.

~~~

There was a flood in a village.
One man said to everyone, "I'll stay! God will save me!"
The flood got higher and a boat came and the man in it said "Come on mate, get in!"
"No" replied the first man. "God will save me!"
The flood had gotten very high now and the man had to stand on the roof of his house.
A helicopter soon came and the man offered him help.
"No, God will save me!" he said
Eventually the man died by drowning.
He got by the gates of heaven and he said to God "Why didn't you save me?"
God replied, "For goodness sake! I sent a boat and a helicopter. What more do you want!"

~~~

You want to hear a dirty joke? A boy jumped in the mud.
You want to hear a clean joke? He took a bath with bubbles.
You want to hear a filthy joke? Bubbles is his nick-name for Michael Jackson.

~~~

What is a terrible thing?
A bin full of dead babies.
What is more terrible than that?
One still alive at the bottom.
What is even more terrible than that?
The live baby having to eat its way out.
What could be worse than that?
The live baby going back for more

~~~

What's the best thing about twenty one year olds?
There's twenty of them
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Postby cookiemanyay » Sat Oct 18, 2008 10:01 am

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To kill the guy who was talking about him.
hahahaha
Hey what did the duck hunter say to the hungry pacifist?
hey buddy no harm no fowl!
hahahhahahahaha
What the difference between a frenchman who only speaks german and a broken clock?
There both right only once in a while!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
What killed the dinosaurs?
Chuck norris!
hahaahahahhahahaha
What really destroyed the Exodar?
Saurfang practising his cleaving!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Postby Lihonessa » Sat Oct 18, 2008 10:10 am

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
You wussy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both plastic and children turn them on.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lilly was gathering bugs in her back yard. At the end of the day, she had 50 bugs. She put them in a jar.
The next day, the jar was empty. So, she collected more. At the end of the day, she had 70 bugs. She put them in a jar.
The next day, the jar was empty again. So, she collected more. At the end of the day, she had 40 bugs. She put them in an other jar.
The next day, the jar was empty again. She decided to stop collecting bugs, because they always got away somehow.
She opened the faucet to get a glass of water. And what comes out of the faucet?
[size=0]Water.[/size]
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Postby Bobson » Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:06 am

What did the apple say to the bananna?

NOTHING! Apples can't talk!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

#1 of all bad jokes :P
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and WoW is my game!
I can play a mage of frost
but also one of flame!
My warrior's rage I can easily tame!
30 pics per second
that is my frame,
and I pwn all the noobs who thinks I am lame!
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Postby The Great JT » Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:19 am

Two al Qaeda are standing around in the middle of the desert. One says to the other, "I need to take a crap real bad." The other says, "so go already." The first lifts his robe and shows that he has no asscrack or asshole. Surprised, the second asks "How the hell did that happen?" The first says, "I was walking along when I found a magic lamp. I rubbed it and Uncle Sam came out and said, 'You have freed me from the lamp. I will grant you one wish.' I said, 'No shit?'"
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Postby Lihonessa » Tue Oct 21, 2008 12:10 pm

Why does that guy lower his pants to poop if he doesn't have an anus?

And how is he planning to poop without one?
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Postby Bunnytots » Tue Oct 21, 2008 12:38 pm

I like to play on words without punalty.
I'm here to shit post and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of gu,/
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Postby Thatguy » Tue Oct 21, 2008 12:52 pm

Are racist jokes allowed?
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Postby Cass » Tue Oct 21, 2008 1:01 pm

Thatguy wrote:Are racist jokes allowed?


Please keep it clean. If they're harmless Polok jokes or the like, that's okay. (I'm Polish and I can laugh at a good joke.)
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Postby Bunnytots » Tue Oct 21, 2008 1:06 pm

My mana tap brings all the girls to the yard (blood elf female joke execpt i changed boys to girls)
you cant spell slaughter without laughter
I'm here to shit post and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of gu,/
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Postby Thatguy » Tue Oct 21, 2008 1:13 pm

Cass wrote:
Thatguy wrote:Are racist jokes allowed?


Please keep it clean. If they're harmless Polok jokes or the like, that's okay. (I'm Polish and I can laugh at a good joke.)


edit: this is a bad jokes thread :?

hmm... dunno.

I'll try. If anyone is offended, I'll remove it. (I'm really not racist irl)






What word begins by n and finishes by r and you never want to call a black man?

















a neighbor.
Last edited by Thatguy on Tue Oct 21, 2008 1:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Bunnytots » Tue Oct 21, 2008 1:22 pm

im not offended.
just that i have a 2 yr old niece thats black and thats why i dont like the word.
I'm here to shit post and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of gu,/
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Postby Cass » Tue Oct 21, 2008 7:35 pm

It's funny.. I looked it up to post the Webster's definition of the word and it has literally changed over the years. It was originally a term for a poor, uneducated and ignorant person. I've always abhorred the term especially when used out of context. But, that's for another thread and yet another time.

G'night, folks. ;)

P.S. I wasn't offended by the joke, either.
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