I have partied with Donald.

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Re: I have partied with Donald.

Postby mennoboss » Tue Sep 06, 2011 6:52 am

Ruto777 wrote:I have two stories. They both took place in Pit of Saron.

In the first group, "Donald" was a DK. I was on Skype with an irl friend, and he was in my group. My friend is a warrior, and a great tank. I'm a feral druid DPS. So we get to Ick and Krick, and everything goes well. When we got to Garfrost, a DPS had to go, so we thought: lets 4 man this. Baaaad idea. At Garfrost, I did 70% of dps. My tank friend did good, but Donald the DK was doing 800 dps. His gear was ok, and i started looking at his talents. I said to my friend on Skype: "omfg look at DK's talents!!" He was specced completely randomly! 1/3 in Blood, 1/3 in Frost and 1/3 in Unholy. I said he had to get dps up because he was doing less than my auto attack dps. We wiped... soo.... many... times... We gave up and got to another group.

The second group, our Donald was the healer. He said he was an alt of a Paladin on our server, and said he was pro. I knew the paladin, he does a lot of ICC raids, so I trusted him. Baaad idea. I was tank, and all healer did was spam Nourish. I told him that Druid was about HoT, and that he had to start using Regrowth, Rejuvenation and Lifebloom, and if that doesn't work use Nourish as last resort. All he said was "We didn't wipe yet, did we? I'm a pro heal!". At that point, his "main" came online, while he was Nourish spamming me. I left the group. Next group, same healer! Left again.


Lol, my guess is that this tank was the best evarrrrrr. Oh wait, that was meeeee :D

True story, wasn't fun with that dk :(
I yes take candle
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Re: I have partied with Donald.

Postby Oxycodon » Wed Sep 21, 2011 8:50 am

Grr, people altering my post? That's not cool, the lack of paragraphs was deliberate. I wanted the reader to not be able to pause while reading, a nice contrast to the silly heroic I described (where we had to wait for everything, tank eating, dying, running, wiping). Oh well.

I have loads of Donald stories. Loads. Encountered a lot of Donalds since I've always been a very active pugger ever since I started playing WoW (4+ years ago). It occurs to me that most posts in this thread doesnt describe a true Donald (nice, but stupid noob), but semi-Donalds. Since its so quiet at work (where I'm currently at), I think I will try to split the different semi-Donalds into categories and subcategories.

1) Notreadtacticsonald. Very common, especially in pugs. Good example is a healer I encountered during ZA hc a couple of weeks ago, the ass ran away from the guy that was hoisted up in the air by the boss --> horrible death. When we pointed out this in a cool and polite manner (wtf, noob, wth are you doing? retard!), he started to rage and split. They are not necessarily bad players, but when you havent read tactics and you dont have the balls to admit it, well, you are a semi-Donald.

2) Gearonald. Fairly common semi-Donald. It is possible to spot them before they are unleashed in a raid/heroic, there are subtle indicators to spot one beforehand (odd gearing choices and silly gemming/enchanting if you really know the class/spec). They usually snap back when you point out this, and seem to be completely ignorant how this affect the other people in the group. Healed a ZA hc a couple of days ago, the pala tank was friggin' hard to heal. Finally had to check out his gear, he sported some healing items, ret items and maybe 3-4 tank items. Silly gemming (think it was dodge all around), he had a friggin' healing shield ferchristsake, no enchants whatsoever. Told him in a nice manner that maybe he had signed up for more than he would be able to handle (wth, you ass, tanking Zandalari heroics with healing shield and dps gear. Are you retarded?) and he started to rage. I've never had a harder time doing a heroic, I had to blow every cd I had on trash pulls and frequently oomed. Finally, when the rest of the group grasped what I was going through, they initiated a kick and got rid of him. There are several examples of silly gearonalds, mages needing on spirit items and rages when the raid leader tell them to stuff it, people using inappropriate armor which remove the armor stat bonus, people in PvE armor doing PvP and vice versa.

3) Dontknowtheirclassonald. Uncommon semi-Donald, but you run into them from time to time. Usually very easy to spot, their talent trees are usually (but not always) outrageous and they usually perform in a very bad and easily detectable way. Resto druids spamming HT is a good one. Met a couple of those. Usually extremely angry when you question their rotation, build or whatever. The great thing with this semi-Donald is that its usually very self-explaining. Recount statistics is usually very nifty when it comes to expose them, and usually you get a good laugh out of it.

4) Dontknowhowtoplayonald. Usually new players (at least I hope so). My fiance's little brother is a prime example, he was playing a resto druid and signed up for a dungeon after I had explained and showed him how fun that could be. Tried to help him at first, but he clearly didnt want any help so I just stood there and watched the horror. His keybinds was silly, he turned with the keyboard, he never followed the tank and rarely healed at all. Think he clicked the different spells with his mouse as well. Safe to say, the tank raged throughout, two of the dps'ers had to heal in order to prevent wipes and they finally booted him. At once, he signed up for a new dungeon and the same thing happened. Hilarious for me, but not fun when I'm on the receiving end, especially when I lvl dps classes who have to endure longer queue times than the tanks/healers.
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Re: I have partied with Donald.

Postby Oxycodon » Thu Oct 13, 2011 8:42 am

Met a Notreadtacticsonald a couple of days ago. Tanked FL10, the bird boss (Alysrazor or something, I'm pretty sure there's a z somewhere in the name), and raid leader asked if some of the dps'ers knew how to fly. Noone responded. Finally, an annoying hunter we picked up said that he had done it several times and knew what to do, fly through the hoops, all that jazz. Great. Raid leader started to split the raid in two groups and assigned roles when the hunter said "but i should stay on the ground". Raid leader responded with "no, we need you in the air". He answered "ok". Another minute went, and we were about to start the encounter when the hunter again said that he shouldn't do it, "the warlock do crap dps" and so forth. Again, the raid leader, who I suspect started to finger the kick button replied "NO! hunter, air, nao!" He didn't respond. We started the encounter, the hunter went up in the air. Didn't really see what happened elsewhere as I was busy with the hatchling, but sure enough, when the tornado phase started a player was dead. The hunter. Plummeted to his death, apparently. Sigh. CR'ed him, "awesome, thanks" and he managed to stay up for the next 2 phases. Again, we reached 1st phase and he went up in the air. Died again. Alas, one of the healers managed to die as well so we wiped it and started over. Raid leader was furious, almost booted him, but we decided to give him one more chance. Same thing happened. Wipe. Run in. Massive rage from everyone in the raid and we finally had to boot him. Hate it when we have to kick someone, but he had it coming. Don't tell people that you know tactics when you clearly don't.
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Re: I have partied with Donald.

Postby Dyr » Sun Nov 20, 2011 7:28 pm

I've been playing since late Vanilla, so I have a ton of Donald instances unfortunately. Being long winded, I will just regale you with the first one I remember, probably because before this point *I* was relatively new to the game and probably WAS the Donald in other, earlier groups.

Back in early BC, when my hunter was still my main, I saw a shaman advertising for needing one more dps/cc for heroic Shattered Halls run in trade. I offered up my services and was invited. The tank was a Beartank, as well as the designated Donald, and instantly was peeved off at me.

Tank: Dude, why did you invite a hunter? I told you we need a good cc.
Me: Oh, I can cc. It's fine, just mark me up a square and I'll keep it frozen.
Tank: lol, everyone knows hunters can't cc worth a shit
Shaman: Well, I've been advertising in trade for like 30 minutes. Let's give her the benefit of the doubt

Note: The other dps in the group was a shadow priest, and a rogue, and given the Huntard status it wasn't uncommon for people to have this misconception about hunters not being much of a cc class. This was back when frost trap duration was like 6 seconds less than it's CD, so hunters got to do the fun song and dance of zigzagging across the room and kiting mobs to keep them trapped for long periods. Which while annoying, was kind of fun and at this point this point in my Huntering career I had gotten past MOST of my own personal Huntard moments (which I assure you were bountiful, and now and then one still sneaks through even on my new Druid main) and took pride in guild runs when the tanks broke the sheeps before my mob-cicles.

So despite the Beartank's grumbling, I got a summon to the instance. We cleared the first few pulls in the hallway with no problems, and then we got to the room with the two groups of mobs and the one guy who pats in between them. Things began to go downhill.

The tank demands leader for marks, so the resto shaman promotes him. He throws up marks. Skull, X, star for sap, square for trap. Pretty straight forward. He gave me a caster which was meh, but whatever. We were still near that hallway and I could easily los him into the trap. I set my trap back in the corner early, so that my CD would be ready to go before the trap broke. The rogue sapped, and the warrior... did nothing. Tick tock, tick tock. My trap disappeared and I had to lay another one. Rogue resapped. Tick tock, the warrior still did nothing. After about a minute of standing around sitting on our thumbs, finally the Beartank erupts.

Me: ...
Shaman: ...
Rogue: ...

Well, I think, perhaps he has honestly never ran with a hunter before and doesn't know how our cc worked back before the days of trap launcher. Well that's an easy fix, I say to myself, I'll just explain it!

Me: Well, hunter cc doesn't work like that. You are going to have to pull the group, and I'll distracting shot the mob off of you and run him into the trap I have laid down back here in the corner. You can pull whenever.
Tank: What? That's stupid. Whatever.

The tank finally pulls, I distracting shot the mob and start running to my trap when... wait? Where'd my mob go? My mark just did a 180 on his heel and ran back to the tank. Uh. well, maybe he aoe taunted or something. No big deal. Rather than waiting on the 30 second or something distracting shot cd, i just start blowing the mob up and pull aggro off the tank the old fashioned way. He's about halfway to me... aaaaand now he's right back on the tank. I have the mob targetted and notice the little growl icon on him.

Tank is getting trucked at this point, could have been a multitude of reasons. Possibly because he accidentally pulled the patting mob along with the group. Or maybe because he keeps not letting me CC. OR, it may have even been the fact that even though he was quick on the taunt, he apparently turned his back on the REST of the group to do so and didn't fix his position, just stood there getting ass-punched. Possibly a combination of all three.

Whatever the reason. We wipe. Beartank is pissed of course.

Tank: WTF huntard, you NEVER trapped square. I told you hunters can't cc worth a shit.
Me: ...uh. Well. I was never able to TRAP the mob, because you kept taunting it back off of me. It has to reach the trap before it freezes.
Tank: Whatever nub, we need a REAL cc in the group, so later.
Rogue: I think the problem was less her trapping and more you tanking with your back.
*You have been removed from the group*

I can only imagine how the rest of that run went. Maybe I should be thankful Donald removed me early before I endured a couple hours of that.
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Re: I have partied with Donald.

Postby Sweetfang » Mon Nov 21, 2011 10:02 am

Lol. Donald followed me to LoRTO the other day. He was a captain (pally equivalent) tanking in dps spec. In LoRTO, captains buff both by casting individual buffs on players and through aoe buffs. This guy was only casting his indiv. buffs and was not using his aoe buffs for the party. I wasn't sure, because I was busy with my own captain's rotation/priorities, but it looked like he was on autoattack and letting his pet do most of his dps. :-(. Luckily we survived once we got a dedicated healer instead of my hybrid healing. Capt. healing in LoRTO is not viable for instances, unlike pally healing in WoW.

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Re: I have partied with Donald.

Postby kfaircloth41 » Thu Dec 29, 2011 1:06 am

I only have one bad story to tell. I was bored and wanted to run an instance while at a lower level. I found another player who wanted to go to the same place and we started advertising for someone to basically keep our butts alive. I had a really bad feeling after they showed up and spent the next three minutes bragging about their cool new mount. (This was back in BC)....Then they proceeded to ride their mount away from us, stopping every once in a while to let us poor losers catch up. Now back in the day you had to be lvl 60 to have any mount. When we got into the instance the douche kept letting us die and and just kept playing look at my cool armor and weapons...When they jumped from a really high spot and kept telling us to follow, I just hearthstoned out. I did apologize to the other player and told her I couldn't play nice with others today. *SIGH But god help me I solo because 99% of the time because I AM Donald. When I get invited to join guilds I just tell them sorry I have been AFK for about 3 yrs and need to relearn the ropes. I like me...And don't dislike others enough to make them put up with somone who uses a keyboard and the mouse. ( But the mouse can make me dizzy) Damn thing moves to quick....I still have a problem trying to figure out how to fight more than one enemy at a time. I constantly kill myself from not realizing that I may just have to face the target to hit it with my swords. See......If it wasn't for a few friends I had early on I probably wouldn't even have decent armor or weapons. I end up going with a hunter everytime because I cannot seem to figure out how close I have to get as a warrior to hit the enemy....I like the point and shoot method...when in doubt sacrifice the pet to get it. See?? But the difference is I won't let other people die from my general stupidity. I refuse to run anything that requires a group because I can't figure out what they are saying/asking for/telling me to do.....So when I see the Donalds of WOW out there I try to avoid them. I am just enough thank you. Wouldn't want to team up with another me for godsakes!!
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Re: I have partied with Donald.

Postby kfaircloth41 » Thu Dec 29, 2011 1:10 am

Oh yeah..I know I suck. But God I love WOW. Hi everybody! My name is (?) and I am a World of Warcraft addict. I dream it. I think about it at work. Plan my next grind while driving. I married an Alchoholic so There would be no competition for the computer. And if I am lucky he passes out early so I don't have to deal with him and try to play.
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Re: I have partied with Donald.

Postby Tydosius » Fri Apr 20, 2012 2:35 am

since i play on a PRIVATE server (vastly under-populated, 1 realm on the realm list, the first boss of ulduar doesn't even work, server lag, and outdated, but free. and yes, i did pay for the discs.) 3 of ANY FORM OF INSTANCES in a day is a triumph.

and we still get donalds.

on my previous server, i dpsed pit of saron, in PoS farms. PoS does reward a fair bit of emblems. and at the time, we had a tank/healer shortage (as we always do) and i decided 'im gonna be a tank'

so i used a DK. and i was good. i've tanked PoS many times before.

but when i was leveling my DPS, i got in an RDF group for anub'rekhan with a DK tank which clearly didn't know what the proper tanking spec/presence was.
so we wiped on the first trash group. we wiped more after that.
and we wiped more times on the final boss than we had wiped previously.
and when we finally did it, the guild chat log was filled with me saying:

and, when leveling my DK tank, i did a TBC raid, and there were some items i rolled greed on. i didn't need them. but, then a tanking sword appeared (defense stats, stam stats, etc.) and it was one handed and better than my sword, even though i was level 76. and when i got it, a level 71 started whining about me 'being a ninja looter' and saying how i didn't need the sword (i was still using the weapons i had at that time, at level 80. sword drops...)

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Re: I have partied with Donald.

Postby Xytan » Sun Apr 22, 2012 10:56 pm

Throughout my countless and vast experience in playing World of Warcraft and various other MMORPG's I have concluded that the anomalies known as Donald will always pull the highest DPS.

Unfortunately, every point of damage they inflict is to the sanity of you and other party/raid members.
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Re: I have partied with Donald.

Postby TheMjohann » Sat May 05, 2012 9:43 am

Well this takes place in that magical time of TBC.
I like playing a warrior but i HATE tanking despite the fact that im possibly one of the more skilled ones who can make up for lower score with skills.
Anyway, i made a warrior, was around 45 and i join the old LFG with the note "NOT a tank!".
I speced arms and didnt even buy the tankskills.

And i get a invite, two people who i cant remember and frankly dont care to remember.
Moron one:"Hey, ur a warrior so u tank."
Me:"No, im arms spec. I cant tank."
Moron two:"<Insert generic "U SUK" rant here>
Me:"I dont care, i didnt spec tank, i dont own a onehander or a shield and i didnt even buy tanking skills. I do not tank."
Moron one:"u tank or we kick u, lol."

Up til now its nothing unusual...Until i look at the textbox and see that Moron one have made me group leader, a common thing for tanks back then.
Being fed up i put both on ignore and kicked them both.
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Re: I have partied with Donald.

Postby GaMzEeMaKaRa » Sun May 13, 2012 5:35 pm

Okay, so I was in ZA the other day when I met quite the interesting Donald.

Here was the team:

Me (Totally awesome super-fantasical feral druid)
Mr. Healer (Holy pally, tiny Donald, did his job well though)
Tanky (Bear tank, biggest Donald I have ever had the displeasure of being in a group in)
Rogue dude (Lil' bit new to the dungeon, knew the fights)
Friend Hunter (Guildie-friend, had Deth-Tilac /jelly :roll:)

Me and my hunter friend knew the fights, but when we encountered the Donald, the stupid waves he was emitting pretty much fried our brains.
So, we spawn in the dungeon and open the doors. Easy, right? WRONG. Donald ran AWAY from the mobs that ambush, out of the dungeon and a majority of the group died.
He said in say, "i didnt remembr they cam out there lol srry" Me and Hunty had a good laugh talking between whispers, and then we try again, with much difficulty but Mr. Healer got us through.
Donald: "omg heler u suk i almst did"
The "Holy sh- are you kidding me" feeling was so thick, you could feel it in the air. Through the screen.
OKAY, so after beating up those non-elite mobs Hunty inspected Donald and whispered me, "holy sh- look at his gear"
Donald was wearing the level 78 cata greens.
We were laughing out butts off while Donald went AFK when I looked at his talents. I said to Hunty "omg, look at his talents, BAHAHA"

He didn't even have any bear talents. He was specced as DPS, and had skipped all the Balance and Resto talents GOOD for Feral spec and went for healing ones in Resto, and damage with Boomy spells in Balance. We also whispered the healer/rogue about it and they asked us if we wanted to kick him, we said no, we like watching good entertainment like this and they didn't vote for kick because they're awesome and probably understood how funny it is to watch the wild Donald in its natural habitat. Turns out they were DLC readers, because they understood when we called the tank Donald. 2 new friends were made that day. We went to the first boss okay, after plenty of warning from me and Hunty to avoid PATS and let us CC. The first boss was a repair NIGHTMARE. And a bucket of laughs for everyone but the tank, of course. The rogue had mark macros for fights where killing a single add is required, and marked the big white bird accordingly. The thing was, that Donald would go try and run and attack the bird, not managing aggro so the healer got aggro. When the bird finally died and after a terrifying loss of a certain druid (yours truly) Donald didn't even battle-res me -.- I kept saying, "battle res please" and he stood there auto-attacking, made us wipe and sent a message in party this time "wuts that aaaasssssswwwwwwwwdddddddsawasdaws" I mean, HOW did he even survive to get to level 85 without knowing what a battle-res was? We kicked him and brought in a good tank, who ran us through with little trouble at all. We told him out story with Donald, and had a huge laugh and conversation through the rest of the instance, and ran about 3 more dungeons with minimal wipes. HURRAH! 3 new friends were made that day.

HoNk HoNk.

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Postby GaMzEeMaKaRa » Sun May 13, 2012 5:40 pm

Yatta wrote:
I stripped my hunter down and had nothing equipped but her 2 hander and her bow.

So you dpsed naked? I'm sure the scourged trolls enjoyed that very much.
HoNk HoNk.

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Re: I have partied with Donald.

Postby Usagi-Zakura » Mon May 14, 2012 7:42 am

I had a minor wtf-moment a few days ago. I was running normal Shadowfang Keep a few days ago with a couple of guildies, a bear and a rogue. The rogue was frequently running ahead stealthed for whatever reason so while we were down in the keep fighting mobs, he somehow aggroed a boss in the tower above us (I think it was Lord Walder) and died.
After we were done fighting the mobs the healer asked where he went, he just responded "gone" and left the group. Don't know what that was all about...
The boss didn't aggro on us, we were too far away. We were just down one DPS on the mobs which didn't really matter.
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Re: I have partied with Donald.

Postby GaMzEeMaKaRa » Mon May 14, 2012 2:57 pm

That rogue makes me sad.
Honk. )o:
HoNk HoNk.

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Re: Re:

Postby Yatta » Thu Jul 19, 2012 1:08 pm

GaMzEeMaKaRa wrote:
Yatta wrote:
I stripped my hunter down and had nothing equipped but her 2 hander and her bow.

So you dpsed naked? I'm sure the scourged trolls enjoyed that very much.

I know I enjoyed it very much. Mmmm, naked space goat.
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